I took a road trip with Elly last week. What a trip! The most exciting part about the whole thing wasn't seeing family, or being back home, or introducing everyone to Elly. It was waiting for Elly to poop! She had her shots the week before and her system got a bit messed up. And then just when I thought things would get back to normal, BAM! I take her on a road trip!
She didn't poop the whole trip. Now it's not like an adult when you don't poop because you're in uncomfortable surroundings. (I don't have this issue, thank you military.) For a baby, this is a BIG deal! So I fussed over her the whole 4 days... worried, concerned, on the edge of taking her to an out of network hospital for an ER visit.
But alas, I toned down the panic for the last day, hit the road and said "Well if there's no poop today, we'll go to medical tomorrow."
And wouldn't you know it... 140 miles from getting home, she starts her tell-tale grunting. And then the smell hits me. OH MY GOD! I didn't think breastfed babys could make that kind of smell. But I guess when you've held it in for four days, that's what happens.
So, I rush to park at the rest stop, scoop her out of her chair, grab the diaper bag and run into the bathrooom. And as soon as I get her out of the car, she lets loose! Atomic bombing of poop happing at my feet. My god, just DON'T STEP IN IT!
As I'm litterally running her into the bathroom, everyone stops me to tell me how cute of a baby I have and "awww, look at that adorable hat!" Uh, seriously folks? She's dripping shit everywhere and you are concerned about how adorable her hat is? Really?
After stripping her down and washing her in the sink at the rest station, wiping her down with a half a pack of wipes, and strapping her into a new diaper, we emerge from the bathroom. Me covered from boobs to knees in poop, her in her cute hat and a diaper. What a site we were! And yet, everyone continued to look past the shit dripping off of me still and couldn't help but say "awww, what a cute baby and an adorable hat."
Needless to say, if you'd like to hide the fact that you've just shit yourself, get a cute baby wearing a cute hat. You can hide just about anything with those on your side!
Until later
~Betty
About Me
- Betty Bakedgood
- I'm a working single mom who loves to write in my spare time... so bare with me when there's a lull in the blogging. It means I'm out enjoying my daughter, Elly's, crazy antics!
Thanks for this. I was catching up on your wonderful blog, and now I am sitting at my desk crying because this story, and the imagined sight of this made me cry. I ran out of kleenex last week, so I just have to let the tears fall down my face as people walk past and stare. Awesome. At least I am not covered in poop, cause seriously, I don't want a baby.
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