Losing my hair... and my marbles

Before I got pregnant I had read that pregnant women have beautiful hair.  And for me, that was true.  My hair became so shiny and lustrous! It was beautiful and felt amazing!!!  I was already "blessed" with thick hair, but once I got pregnant, it was like I had a fortress of hair it was so thick!  And I couldn't stop petting my own head.  I must have looked like a freak, or P.Diddy stroking the furry wall.  Either way, my hair was gorgeous!

What the books forget to mention is that after you have the baby, all your hair falls out.  And when I say all your hair, I mean ALL YOUR HAIR!  Every day I find myself checking to make sure I don't have a bald spot where I just brushed.  My shower looks like Big Foot just got attacked by Edward Scissor Hands.  It's bad.  I've gotten to the point where I just collect all the hair in a little giant ball, rather than let it go down the drain because otherwise we're going to have a huge pluming problem! 

And then when I get out and actually brush my hair... forget it.  It's everywhere.  I feel like the sad, pathetic duckling that's molting and thinks it's the ugliest thing on the planet.  The problem is, I'm pretty sure I'm not about to emerge as a swan.  My swan hair was during pregnancy.  This whole ugly duckling thing is going in reverse for me and it sucks. 

On top of the "Great Shed of 2011" I'm also starting to grow some of the hair back.  So now I have all these crazy, wispy hairs that are half curly, half straight sticking out of my head everywhere.  They almost look like wayward pubes.  Sick! I have pubes on my head!!!!

To top it all off, I'm also losing my mind.  I also read during my pregnancy that women usually get "pregnancy brain" and can't remember things.  And I was told that this usually lasts for awhile after the baby is born, or can possibly be permanent.  Terrific!  So not only am I losing my beautiful hair and growing pubes instead, I also can't remember why I'm so upset about pubes.  Or remember where I just put the check book that's sitting in front of me, or remember that I have an appointment at some point sometime this week somewhere for some ailment that's been bothering me but that I can't remember what it is for the life of me today.  And the calendar I was doing so well at tracking everything in? Yeah, I have no idea where it's at so I'm now completely lost. 

If this is what it's like to get old, just shoot me now.  If it gets worse, I don't know what I'll do.  Actually, I probably won't do anything because I won't even remember that I'm upset that I can't remember.  What really worries me is what happens if I have another baby?  I honestly don't think my brain can take another blow like that.  I know my pube-hair cant!  Could you imagine molting pube-hair? Good God! What grows back to replace that crap???  I can't even begin to imagine! 

If I would have known I was going to be losing this much hair and my marbles, I probably would have invested in wigs and post-it notes.  Ahhh, the things my mother, and pretty much every other woman on the planet that has a kid, forgot to tell me about.  Elly just better behave during her teen years, or I might just forget to tell her these important facts!  Enjoy your swan hair while you've got it because it'll turn into pube-hair, and you'd better get a good calendar/ post-it system in place and attach it to your body if you ever plan on remembering anything after you have a baby kido!!!!

Until later
~Betty