In the spirit of end of year review mania that seems to hit our country about this time every year, I figured I'd jump on board. And as a side note: until I started working in news I never knew why every single tv, radio, paper, magazine, etc. puts out a best of at the end of the year... until I wanted some down time around the holidays too. So what's the easiest way to create that for yourself around the holidays? Just rehash all the shit you've already done and call it "new"s.
Anyway, even though I've only been a part of the blogosphere since July (and I took that trip to Jupiter, aka fell off the blogging planet) I still feel like I've got some gems in my archives.
So here are a few of my favorite things (in no particular order):
1) Breastfed Thighs
I'll do my best to keep the positive about my thighs come the end of January. That's inevitably when swimsuit shopping season begins and I'd much rather slice my left hand off with a circular saw than expose my thighs to the world (or expose the world to my thighs depending on how you look at it).
I'll do my best to keep the positive about my thighs come the end of January. That's inevitably when swimsuit shopping season begins and I'd much rather slice my left hand off with a circular saw than expose my thighs to the world (or expose the world to my thighs depending on how you look at it).
2) What Did I Step In?
I feel like I step in a pile of shit every week. Some weeks are shittier than others. But this one just tops them all. I mean, seriously. What the hell is wrong with people? Clearly advertising geniuses know how to plug their products with cute babies. Because people will literally look past whatever shit you've got when there's a cute baby to look at instead.
I feel like I step in a pile of shit every week. Some weeks are shittier than others. But this one just tops them all. I mean, seriously. What the hell is wrong with people? Clearly advertising geniuses know how to plug their products with cute babies. Because people will literally look past whatever shit you've got when there's a cute baby to look at instead.
3) Got Milk?
This is actually a blog from my early days. I hadn't really introduced everyone to Abby yet. But I realized since I talked about her so much as a friend, that she just needed to be named and be a full-blown character in my daily crazy. The main part of the blog really was word for word an email I sent her after being fascinated and disgusted by my cow-like ability. And although I've stopped breastfeeding, I'm grateful for having endured that crazy shit for as long as I did for Elly. She'd better be a grateful little kid when she grows up or else!
I still chuckle a little every time I read this. And then the chuckles are drowned out by my tears of sadness over my awful hair. I have had it cut into a nice, hot-mom cut. So at least my hair is a lot more manageable than when it was longer. And by the way, I STILL haven't found that freakin' calendar yet!
5) Tinkling
I actually have to go use the little girl's room right now. So I'd better stop what I'm doing and take a break or else I may have a code yellow alert!
It still truly amazes me how your body completely changes when you're pregnant. And then morphs into something completely different after the baby. I'll never understand people (specifically insensitive asshole men) who say, oh you're just lazy that's why you don't have the exact same body after having the baby. Uh newsflash dumbass, it doesn't work like that. Not only am I searching for my ass, I also grew bigger feet. No amount of zumba is going to fix that shit!
I crack up every time I eat a deli sandwich now because I only think of windshield meat. If you ever end up tossing turkey on someone's car and they eat it, please let me know!!!! And if you do witness that, I hope you scream at them "BEING AN ADULT ROCKS!!!"
8)BOOBS!
This is still one of my all-time favorites. Because I am so impressed at how many different ways I could work the word boobs into the blog. And because of that, I actually had a few people stumble upon my blog because of their key word searches. Here's what can land you in Betty's world if you google it: "Big Milk Boobs," "Boobs," and my personal favorite "Boobs Rock the World." Yes, yes they do! (PS, I'd love to know who googled "I'm not doing that" and found me!!! LOL! What the hell aren't they willing to do I wonder!)
9) Vanilla Tuna
There are some people in this world you meet and never remember again. And then there are some people that leave a lasting impression on you for the rest of your life. The stinky girl in my Navy school is one of those people I'll never forget.... and I'm so grossed out by it!
Elly just kills me some days. Every day she's learning, exploring, and absorbing new information. She amazes me... right up until she's caught red handed doing something shouldn't have done but has no idea that it was a no-no. I clearly have a long road ahead of me teaching her important life-lessons. And I feel like a lot of them are going to be really messy!
What's terrible about this pregnancy memory is that even though pumpkin pie is my absolute FAVORITE dessert and it's what I love more than anything for my birthday cake, I still haven't had a slice in 2011! Sad :-( I better get on that before the year is over and I better make sure I don't go to jail getting pumpkin pie!
12) That's Not Fair
The phrase "That's Not Fair" could quite possibly be one of the most famous sayings heard in my house growing up. Either (or in my opinion, mostly) my sister or me would utter that phrase whenever we had felt slighted. Our mother was very careful to make sure that things were as fair as you can make them for two completely different-minded children constantly at each other's throats. So I feel like because of that, I have an obsession to try and make things as far as possible in the world when I can. However, there are things that just can't be helped. Like the fact that Snookie makes millions more than I do.
Well there you have it! Betty's favorites of 2011. I can't even imagine how exciting 2012 will be! In just a few short months Elly will be a year old, Stoofy and I will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary, I'll go on at least 12 tirades threatening to kick someone in their shins, and on top of that, I've got the regular comings and goings of life to chronicle.
Please be sure to follow me on Facebook, become a fan of this blog, and most importantly TELL YOUR FRIENDS! I am a narcissist and I need constant positive approval. So the more people who like me, the better I feel. JOKING, but not really. Force your friends to like me if you have to. It's fine, I completely approve of it!
And I'll have plenty more to add before the year is over... but until then, thanks for enjoying 2011 with me!
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