So Elly turns 5 months tomorrow. And as I'm about to fall asleep, I realize I've learned a lot about what it means to be a mom.
1. Letting her crinkle the plastic baggie will quickly turn into her eating the plastic baggie.
2. Saying 'don't go anywhere' to a baby who has figured out how to roll over is pointless.
3. Coffee is WAY more important than booze. And maybe more important than sex still.
4. An awesome weekend "outing" is rolling out of bed, noticing the AMAZING 2-day diaper sale email at Babies R A-rip-off and racing to the store to beat the other moms to them before even taking a shower.
5. She beats me every time in the game of chicken... Aka the cry it out method.
6. I'm a sucker for a diaper coupon.
7. It doesn't matter how much shit is on your shirt if your kid is wearing a cute hat.
8. I should take better advantage of the opportunities I have to sleep rather than blog about not getting any Zzz's.
9. Gums can hurt just as much as teeth when it comes to your nipples.
10. Hearing that you have a cute baby never gets old.
11. Being asked to hold your cute baby does.
12. Especially if the person asking is in shackles, in the holding cell of your grandfather's court room chambers.
13. True story!
14. I'll never stop judging other parents when I see their kids running crazy.
15. I'm scared shitless I'll be one of those parents with screaming children being judged.
16. I love to hoard baby clothes.
17. I'll never stop being amused by my daughter.
18. Hearing her cry, even when I know she's faking it for attention, makes my heart break.
19. Yes, I know the difference between a real cry and a fake one.
20. I would give my life for her without question, doubt, or fear.
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
About Me
- Betty Bakedgood
- I'm a working single mom who loves to write in my spare time... so bare with me when there's a lull in the blogging. It means I'm out enjoying my daughter, Elly's, crazy antics!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Got Milk?
I sent this email to a friend of mine one afternoon after a particularly fruitful day as a dairy cow.
So you don't have to respond to this right away. And I'm not even sure what the proper way is to respond to this. But today I've discovered just how much milk I can produce. And I've decided my nickname should be heifer. Because with my left boob alone I can produce 4oz of milk every 2-3 hours. Think about that. 4oz. That is a half a cup. As a baker, you know exactly how much a half a cup is. It is a lot when we're talking about milk coming from your chesticles!!! And that's just one boob. And that's only one time during the dozen times a day I pump. If you do the rough math of 1/2 cup per boob per feeding= 1C/ feeding X 12 feedings (give or take in a day) that's 12C of milk. 4 cups of milk is a quart. So I produce 3 quarts a day. And 4 quarts gets a gallon. So I make 3/4 of a gallon of milk a day. Geezus H Christ! Are you serious?!?!? That's a lot of milk. And that's not including the stuff that leaks out or literally spills out of me. (don't worry, I'm not crying over the spilled milk, just pissed about going through so many damn boob pads and bras).
>
> The morale of this story is to tell you that having a baby and breast feeding makes your boobs huge. So I guess the glass is half full!
I always look for ways to define things through baking standards. And I always look to keep the glass half full.
Until later
~Betty
So you don't have to respond to this right away. And I'm not even sure what the proper way is to respond to this. But today I've discovered just how much milk I can produce. And I've decided my nickname should be heifer. Because with my left boob alone I can produce 4oz of milk every 2-3 hours. Think about that. 4oz. That is a half a cup. As a baker, you know exactly how much a half a cup is. It is a lot when we're talking about milk coming from your chesticles!!! And that's just one boob. And that's only one time during the dozen times a day I pump. If you do the rough math of 1/2 cup per boob per feeding= 1C/ feeding X 12 feedings (give or take in a day) that's 12C of milk. 4 cups of milk is a quart. So I produce 3 quarts a day. And 4 quarts gets a gallon. So I make 3/4 of a gallon of milk a day. Geezus H Christ! Are you serious?!?!? That's a lot of milk. And that's not including the stuff that leaks out or literally spills out of me. (don't worry, I'm not crying over the spilled milk, just pissed about going through so many damn boob pads and bras).
>
> The morale of this story is to tell you that having a baby and breast feeding makes your boobs huge. So I guess the glass is half full!
I always look for ways to define things through baking standards. And I always look to keep the glass half full.
Until later
~Betty
What did I just step in?
I took a road trip with Elly last week. What a trip! The most exciting part about the whole thing wasn't seeing family, or being back home, or introducing everyone to Elly. It was waiting for Elly to poop! She had her shots the week before and her system got a bit messed up. And then just when I thought things would get back to normal, BAM! I take her on a road trip!
She didn't poop the whole trip. Now it's not like an adult when you don't poop because you're in uncomfortable surroundings. (I don't have this issue, thank you military.) For a baby, this is a BIG deal! So I fussed over her the whole 4 days... worried, concerned, on the edge of taking her to an out of network hospital for an ER visit.
But alas, I toned down the panic for the last day, hit the road and said "Well if there's no poop today, we'll go to medical tomorrow."
And wouldn't you know it... 140 miles from getting home, she starts her tell-tale grunting. And then the smell hits me. OH MY GOD! I didn't think breastfed babys could make that kind of smell. But I guess when you've held it in for four days, that's what happens.
So, I rush to park at the rest stop, scoop her out of her chair, grab the diaper bag and run into the bathrooom. And as soon as I get her out of the car, she lets loose! Atomic bombing of poop happing at my feet. My god, just DON'T STEP IN IT!
As I'm litterally running her into the bathroom, everyone stops me to tell me how cute of a baby I have and "awww, look at that adorable hat!" Uh, seriously folks? She's dripping shit everywhere and you are concerned about how adorable her hat is? Really?
After stripping her down and washing her in the sink at the rest station, wiping her down with a half a pack of wipes, and strapping her into a new diaper, we emerge from the bathroom. Me covered from boobs to knees in poop, her in her cute hat and a diaper. What a site we were! And yet, everyone continued to look past the shit dripping off of me still and couldn't help but say "awww, what a cute baby and an adorable hat."
Needless to say, if you'd like to hide the fact that you've just shit yourself, get a cute baby wearing a cute hat. You can hide just about anything with those on your side!
Until later
~Betty
She didn't poop the whole trip. Now it's not like an adult when you don't poop because you're in uncomfortable surroundings. (I don't have this issue, thank you military.) For a baby, this is a BIG deal! So I fussed over her the whole 4 days... worried, concerned, on the edge of taking her to an out of network hospital for an ER visit.
But alas, I toned down the panic for the last day, hit the road and said "Well if there's no poop today, we'll go to medical tomorrow."
And wouldn't you know it... 140 miles from getting home, she starts her tell-tale grunting. And then the smell hits me. OH MY GOD! I didn't think breastfed babys could make that kind of smell. But I guess when you've held it in for four days, that's what happens.
So, I rush to park at the rest stop, scoop her out of her chair, grab the diaper bag and run into the bathrooom. And as soon as I get her out of the car, she lets loose! Atomic bombing of poop happing at my feet. My god, just DON'T STEP IN IT!
As I'm litterally running her into the bathroom, everyone stops me to tell me how cute of a baby I have and "awww, look at that adorable hat!" Uh, seriously folks? She's dripping shit everywhere and you are concerned about how adorable her hat is? Really?
After stripping her down and washing her in the sink at the rest station, wiping her down with a half a pack of wipes, and strapping her into a new diaper, we emerge from the bathroom. Me covered from boobs to knees in poop, her in her cute hat and a diaper. What a site we were! And yet, everyone continued to look past the shit dripping off of me still and couldn't help but say "awww, what a cute baby and an adorable hat."
Needless to say, if you'd like to hide the fact that you've just shit yourself, get a cute baby wearing a cute hat. You can hide just about anything with those on your side!
Until later
~Betty
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Family visits
Well, we survived a giant family visit. It's the first time my family has gotten to meet Elly. And of course, everyone loved her.
She met her great grandpas and grandmas. A couple great aunts and uncles, cousins and even a great-great aunt and uncle! Plus a ton of family friends. Whew! What a trip.
The best part is she's not old enough to start making strange. So there were plenty of other people to hold Elly while I ate my meals But she and I did have a deal: any time she was tired of all the new people all she had to do was cry and I would rescue her. And in return, if I was tired of all the family, all I had to do was pinch her and make her cry and then we'd make our great escape. (I'm a good mom like that!)
It was a good plan and actually worked pretty darn well. (I didn't actually have to pinch her, promise!) And as great as it is to see all my family, it's flat out exhausting!
There are so many people to see and rather than they all get their act together and have one large gathering, we had to go to a ton of different places to see everyone.
It was too short of a trip to see everyone. So we'll be back in September before we head west.
Next time I'll plan one large party and let everyone come to me. I'm not running around town with an infant. Elly won't stand for it!
Lesson learned! Now it's time to hit the road.
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
She met her great grandpas and grandmas. A couple great aunts and uncles, cousins and even a great-great aunt and uncle! Plus a ton of family friends. Whew! What a trip.
The best part is she's not old enough to start making strange. So there were plenty of other people to hold Elly while I ate my meals But she and I did have a deal: any time she was tired of all the new people all she had to do was cry and I would rescue her. And in return, if I was tired of all the family, all I had to do was pinch her and make her cry and then we'd make our great escape. (I'm a good mom like that!)
It was a good plan and actually worked pretty darn well. (I didn't actually have to pinch her, promise!) And as great as it is to see all my family, it's flat out exhausting!
There are so many people to see and rather than they all get their act together and have one large gathering, we had to go to a ton of different places to see everyone.
It was too short of a trip to see everyone. So we'll be back in September before we head west.
Next time I'll plan one large party and let everyone come to me. I'm not running around town with an infant. Elly won't stand for it!
Lesson learned! Now it's time to hit the road.
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, July 15, 2011
What a Flirt!
Oh boy! I've got trouble on my hands!!!! Elly and I are back home visiting my family. This is the first time any of them are getting to meet her.
Before we drove up here, I gave Elly a pep talk. I told her that she would be meeting a TON of new people and if she got too overwhelmed, all she had to do was cry and I would come and save her.
It's a good system and it seems to work. Except she rarely needs my help because she's too busy flirting and enjoying all the attention!
Everywhere we go, everyone coos over her and loves on her and tells her how beautiful she is. And she just eats it up. She knows she's cute and she's thrilled that everyone is just is happy about it as she is.
Everywhere we go, she finds someone to smile at. She laughs and entertains. She plays to her crowd.
I read in my weekly baby emails that Parents can get a good gauge on their children's temperament by the time they're 4 months.
Elly just hit the 4.5 mark. Great!
I have an entertainer on my hands!!!! Stoofy's hard at work building a dungeon while I'm trying to convince her she'll never be in pageants or on the Disney Channel because I don't need a BritneyChristinaMiley on my hands any time soon.
I'll just wait for the dungeon to be finished in time for the teen years!!!!
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Before we drove up here, I gave Elly a pep talk. I told her that she would be meeting a TON of new people and if she got too overwhelmed, all she had to do was cry and I would come and save her.
It's a good system and it seems to work. Except she rarely needs my help because she's too busy flirting and enjoying all the attention!
Everywhere we go, everyone coos over her and loves on her and tells her how beautiful she is. And she just eats it up. She knows she's cute and she's thrilled that everyone is just is happy about it as she is.
Everywhere we go, she finds someone to smile at. She laughs and entertains. She plays to her crowd.
I read in my weekly baby emails that Parents can get a good gauge on their children's temperament by the time they're 4 months.
Elly just hit the 4.5 mark. Great!
I have an entertainer on my hands!!!! Stoofy's hard at work building a dungeon while I'm trying to convince her she'll never be in pageants or on the Disney Channel because I don't need a BritneyChristinaMiley on my hands any time soon.
I'll just wait for the dungeon to be finished in time for the teen years!!!!
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Road trip!
Operation ride in a car for 11 hours is complete. And having never done a road trip with an infant, I'd say it was a success!
Yes, there were tears and a few toys got slobbered on, but all in all, we arrived unscathed.
I just hope our cross-country, 2,000+ mile road trip goes as smoothly as the 500+ mile trip we completed today!!!
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Yes, there were tears and a few toys got slobbered on, but all in all, we arrived unscathed.
I just hope our cross-country, 2,000+ mile road trip goes as smoothly as the 500+ mile trip we completed today!!!
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Holy Bag Lady Batman!
So I'm going on my first road trip with Elly. This is a pre-epic road trip trip, prepping for the excursion across the country. That trip is starting to scare the pants off me!
Don't worry, I'll have a bag to carry them in, because as a new mom on my first road trip I look like a fucking Sherpa with all the bags of STUFF I've packed.
What did I pack for my 4-day trip?
Me:
6 days of outfits (in case of puke)
1 wedding outfit
1 "holy shit, it's michigan cold here!" sweatshirt
My toiletry bag, hair dryer, straightener
3 pairs of shoes
Unmentionables
A book (wishful thinking)
My crocheting (living on cloud nine with this one)
For Elly:
5 pj's
9 onsies
3 dresses for the wedding
3 rompers
1 pair of jeans
2 pairs of pants
4 coordinating outfits
1 "My mom doesn't want your advice shirt"
12 pairs of socks
1 jacket
2 sweaters
12 bibs
3 blankets
8 burp rags
1 crib sheet
Baby monitor
1 case of diapers
1 package of wipes
Toiletry bag for a baby! Complete with "hair pretties"
1 bag of toys with half dozen books
Playmat
Baby carrier
Bouncy chair
Stroller, car seat
Breast pump, bottles, etc.
Diaper bag
Holy shit!!! You've got to be fucking kidding me right?!?!? She only weighs a smidge over 13lbs. How the hell does she need so much stuff?
I'm just lucky that my family we're staying with still has their pack 'n play. Or else that'd be on the list too.
So if you see a crazed woman with a dozen bags and a baby on the hip, that's probably me. Do me a favor and hold door for me please!!!
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Don't worry, I'll have a bag to carry them in, because as a new mom on my first road trip I look like a fucking Sherpa with all the bags of STUFF I've packed.
What did I pack for my 4-day trip?
Me:
6 days of outfits (in case of puke)
1 wedding outfit
1 "holy shit, it's michigan cold here!" sweatshirt
My toiletry bag, hair dryer, straightener
3 pairs of shoes
Unmentionables
A book (wishful thinking)
My crocheting (living on cloud nine with this one)
For Elly:
5 pj's
9 onsies
3 dresses for the wedding
3 rompers
1 pair of jeans
2 pairs of pants
4 coordinating outfits
1 "My mom doesn't want your advice shirt"
12 pairs of socks
1 jacket
2 sweaters
12 bibs
3 blankets
8 burp rags
1 crib sheet
Baby monitor
1 case of diapers
1 package of wipes
Toiletry bag for a baby! Complete with "hair pretties"
1 bag of toys with half dozen books
Playmat
Baby carrier
Bouncy chair
Stroller, car seat
Breast pump, bottles, etc.
Diaper bag
Holy shit!!! You've got to be fucking kidding me right?!?!? She only weighs a smidge over 13lbs. How the hell does she need so much stuff?
I'm just lucky that my family we're staying with still has their pack 'n play. Or else that'd be on the list too.
So if you see a crazed woman with a dozen bags and a baby on the hip, that's probably me. Do me a favor and hold door for me please!!!
Until later
~Betty
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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