Lego Landmines

There are mornings that Elly wakes up bright and early.  Those mornings suck.  She is usually yelling from her room while I'm trying to fumble through my getting up and dressed for the day routine. To keep her from climbing into the shower with me (which leads to a melt down because she's part cat and doesn't actually like being submerged under the shower nozzle), I often poke my head out from behind the curtain and tell her to go find some blocks.  She scurries off to find her Duplo Legos and brings them into my room and tosses them all over the floor. 

As I climb out of the shower trying to dry my hair and make sure she stops poking the dog in the eye, I usually step on one of the Legos. 

Instant pain.  It's like stepping on a landmine.  A Lego landmine. And it freakin' hurts. 

I usually hop around in pain and then bang into my vanity.  I'm lucky if I don't cut my shin on my bed frame. All of this usually makes Elly squeal with laughter like the kid on Monsters Inc. Being mocked by my own kid is just a sucky way to start a morning.

When you're pregnant, no one tells you how painful parenting can be.  It's not just the pain of child birth, it's the entire life of your kid.  Sure there are plenty of things that help ease the pain... laughter, memories, wine... But it still hurts when you step on one of those Lego landmines.

I've recently discovered there are other landmines in the world of parenting.  No one really warns you about these either, until it's too late. 

It usually comes in an innocent form. You meet one of your kid's friends, Suzy.  You meet Suzy's mom. And then you think, cool! Elly and Suzy are the best of friends, so I'll like her mom and we can have play (wine) dates. 

As you wade into this new found friendship, you discover Suzy's mom doesn't like Suzy to eat certain things.  Fine.  To each their own.

When you mention you don't like Elly playing with certain items (say stickers or glitter) because she can't stop ruining your upholstery with said play items, Suzy's mom shrugs and makes a snarky comment about how you just have to show her how to do it right. (FYI- there’s no right way with glitter unless you’re Ke$ha.)

And while I bite my tongue because I want this new friendship to work, Suzy then takes a turn with the crayon, stickers, glitter, etc. toward my upholstery.  Suzy's mom does nothing.

And that's when I step on another landmine. I make the bold attempt to stop Suzy from breaking a rule and try a gentle, approved discipline technique in my house.  (Scolding, redirection and maybe a time out if hitting is involved.)

KABOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!  And there goes my life, limb and budding friendship. 

Because no mom wants another mom stepping on her disciplinarian toes.  I get that.  However, don't let your kid break the rules in my house just because you've taught Suzy the right way... because clearly you haven't yet and she needs some work. 

No one tells you how to avoid these landmines.  No one tells you when you're knocked up that it's not just your own kid you have to figure out, but it's everyone else's kids and their damn parenting styles.

So this is my warning to the barely there parents.  Watch out.  Parenting is painful and you're likely to step on some landmines... mostly of the emotional or plastic variety.

Because I don't like Mondays either...
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