Penance

Let me start by saying what every mother says before she launches into a laundry list of things her kid does to make her crazy, I love my daughter more than anything in the world. I truly would do anything for her, even tell her "No."

Elly is 16 months going on 16 years. I know I say this a lot, but she really does have a lot of attitude. I'm not just saying it.

She constantly throws a tantrum when she's told No. Her last pout has been over the fact she's not allowed to use the oven door handle as a monkey bar.

Another reoccurring theme in her life is just how independent she is.

Her latest cry for independence is in the pool. What she fails to realize is when she's floating in the pool, kicking as if she's swimming and then flailing to get out of my arms is the fact that my arms are what prevent her from sinking like a rock.

I'm not trying to hold you back, Elly. I'm trying to keep you alive.

Her attitude is what I imagine from a teenager. And that revelation is pretty scary. Mainly because I have a lot of years to endure before we get to the teen years.

As a kid, I wasn't too terrible. Sure, I got in trouble plenty for doing dumb stuff. But I don't think I was too unruly. Granted, once I left for college, that's a whole different story. Don't worry, I stayed just on this side of the law.

But I feel like Elly's attitude and independence is my punishment for what I put my own mother through. I'm not sure if it's proportionate to what I did growing up, but I've decided it's time to start doing some penance to prevent Armageddon in about 14 years.

I'll start with an apology to whoever I drove crazy with my incessant talking.

Next, I'd like to apologize to anyone who I didn't listen to. Specifically those with wisdom beyond my years.

Finally, I'd like to apologize to my mom for driving her crazy. Although, she should feel pretty excited she now gets to say, "I told ya so."

Maybe if I confess enough and do enough penance now, I'll be able to earn a few brownie points with the big man on the back end. Yes, I know that's not how it works, but isn't bargaining one of the steps to recovery?


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