Monster, er I mean, mother-in-law

I've been married to my wonderful husband, Stoofy, for more than 4 years.  We've been together for nearly 6.  And in that time, I really haven't spent a ton of time with his family.  I know them well enough, and enjoy them when we all visit.  But they're not my family.  My family is entirely nuts. We've got such a huge level of dysfunction; we can't even return basic phone calls.  But I like it and it's normal to me.  His family is different. 

His family's dysfunction is different.  I don't know how to describe it.  I get along really well with his dad and his brother.  But with his mom and sister, it's a slightly different story.  We don't fight or argue or anything.  We just aren't all BFF's.

He and his mom have a very special bond from the first moments of his life.  He's her first born.  He's her only biological son.  He's a big f'in' deal in her world.  And he's moving back to his home town after our many years of military service. (Don't worry; baby and I are moving there too!)  Let the party begin!!!

But now that he's going to be nearby again, she feels the need to be in his life every second of every day.  In fact, she was upset when he didn't move back to their home (in his old, childhood room) and instead got his own place for us.  The horror!  Being persistent, she then decided that she would move in with him on weekends and keep him company.  His response- Uh, HELL NO! (Thank God!)

I was horrified and freaked out!  Here's this woman who doesn't have a clue that her 27 year old son, who has lived on his own for 8 years and deployed around the world, is a GROWN MAN!  Not to mention, he has his own wife and child to take care of.  How dare she want to weasel her way into my life and try to disturb my marriage?  If she thinks she's going to get to be a decision maker in my family, she's got another thing coming!  And here starts my immediate panic-attack about protecting my family and marriage and keeping intruders out.  I started plotting my plan of attack like it was a scene from the Italian Job. 

Now, I realize I don't have the worst MIL in the history of MILs.  (My mom's was, and still is, pretty damn wacky.  Yes, I'm talking about my crazy grandma.) And I just read a story about a Monster-in-law from hell who had the audacity to send a hate email to her future daughter-in-law that just happened to back fire when the daughter made sure it went viral.  So no, I don't have the worst one in the world.  But, it's still a little annoying.

And then I realized if I ever have a son, I'll be a psycho MIL.  I know I'm going to be the only woman in my future son's life that can do everything.  I just know this to my core.  And now starts the second panic attack of the day... my future son will eventually get married and leave me in the dust and I'll just have to find a way to weasel my way back in to his life and if that means I have to move in with him on weekends and take care of him, then that's what I'll do!  BREATH BETTY!

I should point out that my daughter is only 4 months old and Stoofy and I are nowhere near being pregnant again with another child, let alone the odds of it being a boy.  So who knows if I'll actually ever have a son?  But I'm already worked up in a full blown tizzy.  And now I'm a lot more empathetic about my crazy MIL.  That is until the next time she tries to weasel her way into my home again!!!

Until later
~Betty