Yes, I'm back! But before I get into all the nitty-gritty of being AWOL for a few months, let's talk first about my latest confession.
I've developed a major problem. It's like a bad habit crossed with hoarding with a whole lot of laziness mixed in. I hear the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So here's my admission: I have stopped folding and putting away my laundry. Instead, I just go out and buy more stuff.
Yup. That's it. I actually would rather spend more money than actually do the grown-up thing.
It's actually gotten really bad lately (as seen in the picture below).
Here's the conversation I had with Abby last night about Mount St. Laundry:
B: OMG. I have a serious problem.
A: With what???
B: I've decided I'm so sick of folding and doing laundry, I've resorted to just buying more shit and letting the other stuff pile up.
A: Oh yeah. Same boat.
B: The pile is actually really embarrassing. It's actually taller than me!
B: Add in all of Elly's clothes and it's a very expensive problem to have!
A: I have to just not shop at Target anymore. Those bastards know how to make me impulse buy. It's sneaky and mean.
B: Tell me about it! I have half their women's summer wardrobe.
A: I think it's partly because we've been cooped up in uniforms so long.
B: I actually really need to show you the pile. I'm half disgusted by my laziness and half chest-thumping proud of it!!!!
A: I blame that. Not recklessness or irresponsibility.
B: Yeah, I blame the uniform too.
A: Haha, I need a picture.
B: Or at least that'll be my rationalization for awhile!
I send the picture.
B: Mountain O'Laundry.
B: It's all clean, but nothing is really folded and I can't find matching socks to save my life.
B: Notice the Dyson for scale reference.
(Waiting for a response.......)
A: That is respectable. I mean.... really. That's impressive.
B: I wish you could see/hear how hard I'm laughing now that I've confessed! But not even revealing my secret is going to guilt me into folding that shit this week.
B: This is how hoarding begins, I'm pretty sure.
A: As your friend, I vow to never be appalled by your habits. I will be amalled- amazed/appalled.
A: Because really, I'm just as bad... with fewer excuses.
First, let me say, that Abby is a great friend. And I appreciate that she won't judge my laziness.
Second, there is now a system to the pile. I know, in general terms, where some things are. I know where I can, generally speaking, find the towels, or Elly's pj's. I can't quite find matching socks quickly yet. But it is a system. And doesn't every system have its flaws? So I'm not quite sure that I have an issue with the Mount St. Laundry yet.
I really just need someone to come and fold it for me. Or at least hold me accountable. Or at the very least come and entertain me while I do the folding. Or better yet, I need to have company over so I'm at least motivated to hide it somewhere other than on the freakin' love seat in the den. I need someone to tell me it's un-American to live like that and the terrorists are going to win if I don't fold my laundry. Actually, I don't believe that since it's actually totally American to be a slob. I mean, cable networks make millions off of people who hoard and whose homes are a hot mess. So I guess that scare tactic isn't going to work for me.
So you're wondering at this point what the hell I have been doing the last few months if I haven't been blogging and clearly I can't blame it on the laundry. Stay tuned... I promise to come back with more on my life soon!
Update as of 2 hours after publishing this blog: It turns out that Mt. St. Laundry also provides entertainment for my child. Stoofy sent me a text with the following:
S: Elly ran around down stairs saying, "mamamamamamamamama." Then stops at the clothes, grabs your underwear and puts it on her head. Really kid?!?!?!
See, it's like the Boyne Mountain of my living room! (That's a Michigan skiing reference for those of you not in the know.)
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