Mommy Moisturizer

As a new mom about to get out of the military and join the world of it-matters-what-you-look-like, I've begun to care more about my beauty regiment. I'm also very fortunate to have a daughter who cares just as much about my looks as I do now.

She cares so much that she's willing to help moisturize my face daily.... With her mouth.

It's my own fault, honestly. I taught her 'KISSES!' so she now loves to give them.

She gives me, Stoofy, the dog, the carpet, blanket, mirror, Bumbo tray, table, toys and any other objects she can yank toward her mouth KISSES!

But she's a sloppy kisser. Not only does she kiss with her entire mouth open (including when she kisses the dog) she drools like a hound.

She's also an incredibly aggressive kisser. When she wants to land one on me, she grasps my hair in both of her little jaws-of-life claws and yanks my face into her mouth.

She actually tries to consume my chin. It's not like I've got a Leno chin or anything,

but that doesn't stop her from kissing/eating/drooling on it.

She also tries to kiss/eat my cheeks and in doing so gets her slobber all over my face. She's kind enough to wipe it off, but ends up just smearing it further around my face.

And this becomes my mommy moisturizer. She's locking in moisture with her drool. Talk about disgusting!!!

You remember the scene in 'Turner & Hootch' where Tom Hanks finds drool trails all over his house and car and you cringe at the thought of it? Yeah, I live that every day.

Unlike the commercials you see about some magical serum that will turn back the hands of time to beautiful, youthful skin, this slobber actually turns back the clock TOO FAR! It makes me break out like a 13 year old hitting puberty. (I actually have a pizza face.) I can't remember when I had zits this bad on my cheeks!

But alas, they're there. And it doesn't look like there's an end to it soon. Because even though I'd rather not have a pizza face, I still wouldn't traded it for the mommy moisturizing kisses I get on a daily basis.


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